//FENCES\\ .build. them. well.

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fences

don't look up just let them think

there's no place else you'd rather be in now

you can't turn back

because this road is all you'll ever have

plugin&play Music saves our souls Music Playlist at MixPod.com
If you let me I could, I'd show you how to build your fences navigations are the fours lines of lyrics. they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).	Monday, May 17, 2010, 10:04 PM wow it's been so long since i last updated. to cut the long story short, i left my job, and got a new one. (: details are reserved for the time being, as i haven't started work yet. ciao~ Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 11:37 PM i actually wanted to blog here. but decided it's not that safe anyways. see u all @ eljay. Wednesday, February 17, 2010, 2:21 AM saw an onew-lookalike at fren's house today, and boy, was i stunned!! :D too bad, he's attached, TO A NOONA WHO IS 4-5YRS OLDER THAN HIM!!!!! that is soooo onew cannnnnnn!!!! -faints- (as long as they are not married, i think i stand a chance!) xin nian kuai le! Tuesday, December 29, 2009, 1:02 AM 여즘 닭 너무 촣아! Chicken seems to be one food which I can't live without recently. I remember laughing at my friend once for loving chicken so much that he must have it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper, because I couldn't understand how chicken can be such a wonderful dish, which makes my friend soooo 'captivated' with it. But now I feel the same way too. Boiled, grilled, barbequed, steamed, fried, roasted, I love every way chicken can be cooked and prepared. Breast, thighs, wings, drumstick, ribs, I could eat any parts of it without fussing over having to pick out the bones from the meat anymore. I have totally fallen for CHICKEN. To think that I totally HATED chicken when I was a kid. I'd prefer pork over chicken anytime of the day. It could be due to the fact that I was having hainanese chicken rice ALMOST everyday for lunch when I was schooling, and I shudder when primary school friends listed their favorite food as Hainanese Chicken Rice in the autograph books. Don't you just get the chills down your spine too, when 10 out of 13 friends around you listed Chicken Rice as favorite food of all time? Besides hating the fact that I need to separate the bones from the meat every single time if I forgot to tell the hawker that I want breast meat, sometimes, especially in fast food restaurants, there is the common sight of seeing the blood/reddishness in the chicken meat, if the chicken wasn't processed carefully during the preparation stage. All these made me dislike eating chicken meat, and I tried my best to stay as far away as possible. Everytime my brother wanted to eat KFC, I would always choose to eat the now-defunct Colonel burger or Zinger burger. But I remember Astri, my secondary school friend, loved to eat KFC. She would always go KFC whenever we hang out. I once asked her, doesn't it disgust her to see the blood and reddishness 'residing' in the meat? She did not say much, just replied that it doesn't bother her that much, because such things are common. Throughout the years, I met different friends who love chicken to bits. My brothers, the best examples. Everytime we choose a fast food restaurant, I would always choose Macs, but they would always choose KFC. So it's really like no choice, since majority wins, I always end up with Colonel burger meal, sounds really pathetic but it's true. (actually the lemon tea in KFC is nice too, so it kinda discounted the hate i have for KFC) Slowly but surely, seeing so many people not being bothered about separating bones from meat, or about the reddishness in not-so-well-prepared chicken meat, I took down all the mental defences and prejudices that I had against Mr. Chicken. On several occasions, when people remarked that breast meat is the hardest meat in terms of evaluating the best parts of the chicken meat, and drumstick is the best (that's why it's priced a tad higher, like 50 cents more), I decided to try drumstick meat for a few times, and grew to like the taste. The meat is much tender, and feels juicier than the usual breast meat. Soon, I was giving all things chicken an unprejudiced try. Emperor Chicken herbal soup is one of my favourite dishes so far, and the Korean ginseng chicken, Samgyetang, has become my favorite too. Samsui Chicken from Soup Restaurant is nice to the max too! All these had bones, but the food was nice, so I'd figure I could take the trouble to debone the chicken. (: And then came the concept of Korean food. You know how foodcourts have the BBQ beef/chicken/pork plate. They have no bones! And since the other two meat choices are a bit costlier than chicken, I always chose chicken, and grew to appreciate the taste. Of course, a few years later, Korean Chicken fastfood has inflitrated it's worth into the Singapore market. It helps that a particular fried chicken restaurant in town has a relatively large screen which screens Kpop concerts every weekend in their shop. So from eating just to enjoy the nice 'ambience', I appreciated eating drumsticks, chicken wings, etc. And some Kpop artistes also endorsed many chicken fastfood advertisements back in Seoul, Korea, and it did change my perspective towards chicken. Now, I eat chicken on an almost daily basis, and I feel weird if I hadn't eat anything chicken for the whole day. Throw me chicken wings anytime, and I can debone it in an instant. I'm beginning to love the taste of it, and few friends even remarked that I'm a clean eater when it comes to eating chicken wings! ((((: I do not know what caused that change, but I believe as we grow older we begin to change our tastes and preferences. Maybe an open heart to give things another 2nd try helps too. (: Maybe you would like to think about, what are the foods which we would avoid when we were young, but we crave for it as we grow older, or what about the foods we love since we were kids, but now we do not consume it as often now? It would be interesting to think about it, and trace back the reasons how you grow to like that particular food. I won't be surprised if you managed to trace back wonderful memories you had with that particular food too! Happy thinking, while I plan for my next KFC/Fried chicken restaurant visit! (: Sunday, December 13, 2009, 7:07 PM don't call urself a kpopper unless u know who SECHSKIES, H.O.T, 1TYM, CLON are. just so so so sick of ppl who joined the k-pop craze after BOF. that's part of the reason why i wud rather go for zhenhao's housewarming than go to fort canning. i can't stand ppl who loves lee minho, SS501, T-max even, just because of BOF. i dun deny that korean dramas could spark off the kpop craze in someone. my first brush with kpop/kdrama was when i was in pri sch (pri 5 or 6), on premiere 12 (now-Okto channel), when 'Dream Racers' was the first korean drama which came to singapore (and you thought that 'Autumn in my Heart' was the first). i didn't know what was it back then, but i continued watching it with my brother, cos i thought the actors are good looking. after 3 consecutive days, it stopped screening on tv. i also don't know what happened. then when i went to poly, i was influenced with kpop from a senior of mine who used Shinhwa's 'Perfect Man' and H.O.T's 'Haengbok' to form our dance routines. since then i started to listen to kpop, back in 2002. it was difficult to maintain the passion, as i couldn't find like-minded people who likes kpop and kdrama. yes, autumn in my heart was good, but i wasn't interested. i liked all about eve, and started to find out about Fin.KL, S.E.S, Baby VOX, etc. not knowing what to do, i went online and joined a forum for kpoppers. since then, i never turned back. i started to know these members online and find out the latest korean dramas, music, etc. my fangirling officially started after i grad from poly. usually i just watch the show, listen to the song and then that's it. in 2008, i got an invitation from Conneo, my sec sch fren to go for TVXQ concert with her, and i was unwilling at first, but thought it would be good to take a break, so i went with her, and since then, i was fangirling my way away, liking boybands with members who are 4-6 yrs younger than me, etc. im just a bit frustrated at how ppl are milking the kpop industry for all its worth in the name of 'promoting kpop'. charging exorbitant prices for fanmeets and showcases. i feel like they are cheapening kpop in the process. and more disgusted by post-BOF fans who jumped from liking F4, 5566, to, Lee Minho, SS501. it's so irritating im starting to feel that kpop is overrated. Sunday, December 06, 2009, 2:29 AM interesting topic~ was watching one of my favorite programs on my favorite cable channel, and i came across this very interesting argument the foreigners were having with the local girls, who happened to be from the best colleges in korea. the point was, the question wasn't the interesting bit. it was the deviation from the original topic 'why do korean girls love to carry luxury goods', to 'why do korean parents pay for their children's education, when the child could go and part-time and take student loans/whatever and assume responsibility for their studies?' it was amusing to see them fighting over this topic. but being an asian, i haven't thought hard about this topic at all, and i took it for granted that my parents should naturally pay for my compulsory 10 years of education + 'n' years of my tertiary education. if not, what is CPF for? haha. what some korean girls mentioned about luxury goods was nonetheless not as baffling as i would thought, but definitely not the kind of view that i could agree upon either. their perspective was, having a nice bag, with a good quality that lasts beats bags that are cheap but have bad quality. some girls even remarked that using luxury brand bags could impress the guys a little. to me, that's bollocks. no guy is going to look at you, and exclaim, 'omg, my dream girl is carrying my dream bag which is my dream brand!'. almost all the foreigners in that program in the studio did not possess ANY luxury bags. reason being, they just don't need one. a nice, decent. normal one that could last is good enough. i like that view. well, back to my original intent. so all these arguments led to the question about parents paying for education. as a viewer of this program, i couldn't think of anything to debate with. to me, parents paying for education is the norm, and never thought people, foreigners especially, could be perturbed by that thought. with nothing to back the argument in my mind, i watched on. most of the foreigners paid for their own education, either by part-timing or by taking study loans. i applaud that. but they shouldn't be so surprised that we asians allow our parents to pay for our education. we will pay them back by installments, after all, but a few things stood out from the argument, which grew some afterthoughts within me. one of the korean girls remarked that those foreigners probably could survive and pay their own education because their countries' policies and welfare may enable them to do so in a fairly comfortable manner, which korea may be lacking in, and that instantly shut most people up. indeed, maybe this could take some time to do some research on it. exactly, what kind of policies do other countries have with regards to education. i couldn't agree more with that korean girl who made that statement. i did not read up on policies and welfare for students in other countries, but what im sure of, is that some of the countries which these foreigners come from, probably paid a lot of attention to education policies to reduce the percentage of illiteracy among their citizens. im not sure how korea views it, but i believe in any way, their policies, compared to the other countries', may lack a thing or two. another thing to note, is that, in other countries, college education is made much more accessible to their citizens via public college. so even if you do not do well, you can still fight your way to gain admission to a public community college. the situation differs greatly in korea. look at the amount of cram schools in seoul, just to ensure the students will work very hard to gain admission to the colleges in korea. yearly, when the national exams is going on, parents will camp outside the school where they take their papers, and pray, chant, stay vigil throughout the examination period, which could last for a week or so. if the results are out, and some students did not do well to gain entry into a college, they either enter the workforce early, or, for those who took it too hard, take their own lives because of the failure. so bottomline is, if you can make it to a good college in korea, you're probably something. and, if you're something good, then what is wrong with pampering with a luxury bag, or paying for your school fees? but what the foreigners said also made certain point. their parents wanted them to work outside and support their own education is because they want their kids to learn about the harsh realities of life, communication between people, and learn through life's experiences, which i agree a lot. look at our citizens. some of the scholars may score a phenomenal high score in IQ, but rake in a failing grade for their EQ. some are too proud with their academic achievements that they couldn't even humble themselves when they enter the workforce. some people job-hop, simply because 'i can't stand that environment. ooh i hate the work here, im leaving'. question: where is the spirit of enduring hardships? these problems might surface due to the near-zero work experience graduates face before entering the workforce. either ways, i believe both korea and other countries have their own policies. we have our own too. so just live with it, and move on in life, and live your life successfully, and it doesn't even matter how many months of installment you remain with, before you could pay off the amount of money your parents invested in your education. (: Tuesday, December 01, 2009, 10:47 PM im like quite bored now, so i dunno what i'm blogging... ooh, had to mention this. am tired of kpop/hallyuwood craze already. maybe it's time to focus on other things. i wanna do a lot of things. im still waiting for more interviews to come my way.. say hello to a brand new chapter. ^^3 Saturday, November 21, 2009, 5:30 PM my lovely onew is back! 1st it was the blonde guy who contracted swine flu. then it was my favourite (in red-tinted jeans) that contracted swine flu. instead of their name, they were nearly called SWINee. T_T after weeks of waiting excruciatingly for all 5 to be on-stage, and enduring some good and some bad collaborations with some stand-ins for the sick members, (refer to below performances, not really worth mentioning, but able to serve as comparison) SHINee - Ring Ding Dong (feat. Ye Sung of Super Junior) SHINee - Ring Ding Dong (feat. Lee Teuk of Super Junior) nothing could be as good as hearing the 5 of them together! NOW THEY ARE BACK! Presenting to you, with utmost happiness, SHINee (5 members intact): SHINee (!) - Ring Ding Dong (original members intact!<3) omo, aren't they lovely? and Key, though his actions are damn bitchy and gay, keeps distracting me from my love towards Onew... BABEEEE~ NAEGE BARIN BOGO NAEGE WAE IRAE ~~~ Sunday, November 01, 2009, 4:31 PM 가지마... my bro has flew to london for work. separation is hard, and it has been emotional for all of us at home these few days. but i jus skyped with him, and i'm glad that he's enjoying himself there. most of you who know me will know that my bro and i are super close to each other. i thought it would be easier, since he went to the US for 5 months for his exchange program. but when it was time for us to say good-bye, the tears just flowed uncontrollably. the day after he flew, it was a bad day at work for me. everything just doesn't seem right, doesn't feel right. i feel bad for fang, cos it's her bday, but i was like constantly having the face like wanna cry like that. >.< *mianhae, fang! and being the nice girl she has always been, she bought me these to cheer me up: (from left: jang geun suk (you're beautiful, itaewon murder case, hong gil dong, hwang jinyi), g-dragon, TOP (big bang)) THANKS A LOT!! <3 Thursday, October 22, 2009, 12:26 AM ok, i shouldn't have blogged about boybands! ok now, in case if ur wondering who is this G-Dragon with such a dorky name, and think he's a she-man, or man-girl, let me introduce you to the days when he was GORGEOUS AND CUTE! -back in the days when he debuted with BIG BANG, all the members have embarked on some solo projects for now, but they are still a tightly-knitted family- Last Farewell - BIG BANG did you manage to spot G-Dragon in the midst? hee.. and the song that made them famous - LIES (Geot Ji Mal) the tune is soooo addictive! and their LIVE performance of LIES: GOSH! i'm on a fanatic spreeee and i can't stop!!!! OKOK! 2 more fave vids! Haru Haru (Day After Day) - BIGBANG sad love story, and GD and TOP really acted damn well! Bul Gun No Eul (Sunset Glow) - BIGBANG - i prefer the LIVE- LIVE Version: ok that's enough for today! omg fangirl madness!! :x Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 11:18 PM WTFREak?! haha after posting about boybands, i feel soooooo guilty if i din rave about this person. he's AWESOME! symbolic of kpop rap! new generation rapper to look out for! i shall let his MV and his self-penned, self-produced hit single of his latest solo album blow you away! H. E. A. R. T! - i will still be there- amazing rapper, amazing screen presence, G-DRAGON! okay, another one of his TEASING MV: i really tot i'll be doing him a GREAT INJUSTICE if i din blog about him. he is not my life, not my all, but his songs just makes me go 'WOW!' everytime! HEY YO FINALLY! yes, this is what i've been waiting for! , 11:04 PM tons of updates!! omo! i've got loads to update! first and foremost, thanks to con, i'm a self-declared SHINee fan now!! KEKE!! okays, me liking boybands shouldn't be news to most already, and most of the ppl reading my blog SHOULD also be boyband crazy too -except mummy sherlyn ^^- BUT! SHINee?! haha it's quite impossible, but yes, i am officially liking them as of the day they released their new single, 'Ring Ding Dong'. here's a preview, thanks to Youtube: AMAZING BAN JJAK BAN JJAK SHINEE! okay, i haven't officially become a fan, but this is a new boyband i'm looking forward to, BEAST: hot video directed by famous director, i can see why! now on to non-boyband things: hot mummy has given birth to a very cute daughter Kayla!! i've been offered a job as Advertising and Promotions but i turned it down. somehow it's so dubious, i don't even have to go through 2nd interview, and i'm being offered the job on the phone and i'm expected to give a reply like immediately. what kind of company is that? but it's supposed to be respectable, given that it has a few respectable cineplexes in this little red dot. work's been fine. but workload has increased. what's new? become more bitchy and complainy towards work i realise. haha, really lar, when u dun have so much passion, things you usually do without complaining, now u can't help but gripe silently. lol. when the time is up, it's time to move on. Thursday, October 08, 2009, 3:21 AM quick updates Sunday went well. Still deciding if i want to continue with it, cos personally i dun think the boss know how to be a good boss. He can tell us on one hand not to do this and that, but he's quite young, and quite cocky. And the supervisor? Omg, damn attitude. There's a customer who got shortchanged of one egg last week and this week he asked if it's possible to get a reasonable explanation on why he got 1 egg instead of 2. Fair enough, it's not my problem, but I asked on the guy's behalf. My supervisor's reaction? -looks with slit eyes and mumbled- 'then what he want now? i can't refund him u know, it's already last week's business.' T.T Another customer was hoping he could get some dark soya sauce for his egg dish. My chef's reaction? -shouts- 'tell him this is not chinese restaurant hor!' double rwr. I mean, what's their problem!? Whatever happened to customer service, I don't see it. So much for being a themed cafe with supposedly 'egg-citing team'. I don't think I will go back there to work after this Sunday. I mean, I don't know but it looks dysfunctional to me. Yeah, I know I said I wanna be a waitress, but that will come later. Anyways, I'm staying. LOL. I got a pay raise, promotion and then hurray, I don't have to work on weekends and fixed 8.30am-5.30pm working hours. It's not the offer that's making me stay. It's the part about them doing all this to keep me, which I don't know whether to feel flattered or burden. But I told them, let's try out for 6 months, at the end of 6 months, I will review this thing again. So I'm staying. Applause? Haiz, life is so confusing. I even went for 2 interviews already. One is advertising and promotions, another one is Programming stuff. I don't really want the advertising and promotions job, so it's okay I don't wish to be called back for another interview either. But the other one, seems like the working environment is quite good. After a bit of pushing and offering one package after another, I don't think I will move on now, since I gave my promise to them for at least another 6 months. .:r Tuesday, September 29, 2009, 11:41 PM waitressing, here i come! starting work this sun as a waitress! i'm anxious to what the future entails, really! i just randomly wanted to do waitressing for a theme concept cafe, and here i am now, confirming all the details with the young boss and agreeing to start work on sun. why waitressing? cos i din get to do it during my schling days? and with the PR skills i develop, i start to think, it's not a bad idea to make someone's day better, enjoy their food more. and i like to serve ppl i realise, i dun mind being scolded, as u can see from my soon-to-be 'previous' job! =.= im not telling the place, unless i'm like really confirmed to be a part-timer first! hehe.. Tuesday, September 22, 2009, 1:37 AM monday was a holiday. had a very eventful sunday! first it was ktv with my sec sch frens to celebrate jie's bday! i tot only me and sponge con round face can make it, but then as the day went by, more and more people came for the ktv, and then we had a field day. they have nobody, gee, crazy dog, let's go on a trip, talk play love and a lot of korean songs in partyworld!! i sang and risked being clobbered to death by jacky! haha! but he's nice, in order not to abuse me, he went out of the room, cos he couldn't understand a single word i was singing! but i still had lots of fun, ktv-ing away! hee!! then it was dinner at cafe iguana, famous for their magaritas! omg, it's heavenly lol, and we finished all the food!! haha which was a good thing, cos most of them were apprehensive of mexican food initially, but had to give it to the chef for his good skills in creating awesome mexican dishes! and then, it was stayover at master chan's. omo, his dad keep feeding us! we watched sweet home alabama, looked at the pics pinch took when she was in europe, and played monopoly till the wee hours of the morning! and i realised i'm quite good in monopoly afterall! earning lots of lands and building houses, haha. but i still lost of tycoon chan hahaha. must be cos me and pinch spurned him, then he bu gan yuan hahahaha! anyways, it was a great time hanging out with frens. i am going to tender on wed. rash decision? i m jus burnt out. can't wait for bonus, im willing to forego bonus lols. Thursday, September 17, 2009, 2:09 AM mong. i'm too tired to blog now. today, the whole world was bent on destroying me. it wasn't a good day. i told a freakin big lie, and told the person the truth in the end, which was worse for me, but better for everyone else, since it's the truth and not entirely my fault. thank God for favor from boss that he will help me resolve this issue, and it's not a biggie. i dun have to worry about it. the whole world screwed me upside down today. i hope for a better tomorrow. Monday, September 14, 2009, 3:57 AM insomnia lol just as i watched the program pops in seoul and it talked about insomnia. here i am - slpless in singapore this is what japanese straight tea, iced caramel macchiato and chocolate lava cake can do to u. lesson learnt. Sunday, September 13, 2009, 3:08 PM flooding, bored. i set out to write an inspirational piece today. now i cudn't think of anything inspirational ever since i talked about having steamboat with a couple of my friends. i can't wait for mala huoguo, and if ur reading this (which u nvr will), i dun wan tom yam, i wan mala! see? that wasn't even inspirational. now, back to re-writing my CV. Saturday, September 12, 2009, 11:54 PM darn. i wanted to find the picture of the Agnes b. Voyage coin purse which i got for my mum, but i can't find it!! is it out of season or something?? can someone tell me what's happening?! i have made up my mind about leaving. should be end-dec, after i get my bonus, if there's no bonus by dec, i think i will throw in the letter. haven told anyone at work except fang and fatherahpasam. so hope they wun leak it out. T.T it has been quite shocking for a couple of my frens when they knew tat i wanna quit. to them, it seems that i cud get stuck in that place for another 2 years, before i move on. -.- well, me too, actually. if the job is paying me reasonably well, and we are coupled with more abled and more experienced staff to help me out, and someone could control her temper and stop yelling as and when she likes it, well, maybe i could stay for a few more yrs/months? who knows. above all, i've looked pass the glam, the shit, the truth. and the truth is, even an o level grad can do this job, so why should i waste my time there? actually i would like to give myself more time there. but time and tide waits for no man. im no longer a fresh grad seeking out jobs for experience. i AM experienced already, so don't wanna waste my life and rot in there like some LUMP of a manager. so ya, i do not want to look back several years later (when im 27-ish) and look back and exclaim: 'oh my! i've given my life and my soul to the company! now what have i gain? XXX celebrity knows me?! what else? i know how to do purchase orders and book makeup and hair for my artistes?!' and a worthless company it is, who doesn't give their staff the right appreciation. by the way, increment or promotion IS a way of expressing appreciation, in case some sales ppl turned higher mgt and have yet to grasp the principles of mgt and do not know how to 'take responsibility' or help secure an employee's future. they are losing a lot of good men, but they do not realise, since the company is always about saving up, cutting costs, and what not. and i had it, being close to artistes and all, which is what i wanted, and cannot give up initially. but i want a simple life now, one without having to think for the artistes and putting up with weird requests and stomaching insults lashed out intentionally or not. i do not have to please anyone but my God, not even my current boss. i had it. i certainly can live without getting close to artistes, it's really not as glam as it seems. sometimes i even wish the artistes would not recognise me, or try to get friendly with me, cos it will only make them look more fake and the more i wud think that they are only being friendly cos it's part of the job, and if they had a choice, they'd rather have a simple life, and dun have to bother about their image too. though my dream before i leave is to bring a kpop band down and make them big locally, but this dream has slowly diminished. cos i wouldn't be prepared to see certain things taking place and disappointment setting in after really knowing those kpop artistes and what they do offstage. and so is my passion for music, it has also diminished. nothing is about music anymore, everything is about sales, sales, sales, sales, and money. doesn't mean if a singer is good, means that the sales are guaranteed. having money and lots of money can 'rig' results. yes, im saddened by this fact. i mean, pure music has been 'defiled' and true enough, it's show BUSINESS afterall, so call me naive. the only way to jump out of all these delusionment is through leaving, i believe. of course i could tell myself, that's the way of life and i should continue and not act like a baby. but what if years later u look back and realised in ur cause for loving music, u've done nothing but planted more lies and lies and lies into the hearts of consumers, and ur living off these lies. even with a higher pay, i could stay longer, but i could not allow myself to live my life off telling lies. sounds like im a damn big righteous machine, eh? i guess, when u've made a decison, and u want to see through that decision, u began to take a step back to weigh the pros and cons. so u could say that im half-convincing myself why i should leave my job in the meantime. well, since all the glam, glitz, galore, smoke and fog has dissipated and all that i can see in my path that's left are emptiness, unhappiness, im no longer happy, and i think it's only right that i should move on. i thought God wants me to make an impact in the media world. i tot i cud be influential, preaching the good news and seeing artistes coming to know the Lord. maybe that was His purpose, but i humble myself and admit that i haven been doing a good job at that. i went back to my swearing, cursing and lying days just to see days get by, events get by, i don't even know why im doing what im doing. i guess im burnt out. i need a break. now that God has shown me what He has intended, it's time for God to show me the path back to His will and His purpose. omg. let me mention, it's damn paiseh initially to even think of quitting so soon. look, i stepped down from youth ministry because of this job. i wudn't want ppl to laugh at me and say 'i thought this was ur DREAM job?! why are u giving up so fast? can't believe you gave up God's ministry just for this job. maybe u heard God wrongly. He nvr intended this job for you. u've missed it, girl. now u gotta make a detour. and pls, listen properly to God from now on, not ur own worldly dreams and ambitions.' woot. come what may. so what if i heard wrongly from God? but i still believe, through all this hoo-ha about my dream job, God has been teaching me about some things. His purpose. honoring Him at work. His promise. His moulding and shaping. the trials that i have to go thru, with Him with me (if i had sought Him when i meet with a problem). how liao2 dao3 i can be when i do not walk in His will. of course it would be great to prove that i cud get into all this saving souls work for Christ at work. that cud shut some ppl up, ppl who thinks that media is evil and temptation is always around. ya, today i admit, i can't. it's not evil, but i guess i saw my selfish side a lot in this job, it's scary. i wanna be plain and simple today. i dunno if i became influential in some ways or another, but today i just wanna say. yes, maybe i've missed it. maybe i tot i heard God calling me into this job, but it could be my worldly side beckoning to me, the artistes beckoning to me to go into this job. i am ready to face any judgement from anyone, be it ppl in church or ppl outside. another part of me feels that maybe i had heard God wrongly, but im sure He would want me to be in this job so that He could teach me more than i could imagine: getting along with people. praying for favor with ppl wherever i go. learning to admit my mistakes. learning to apologize. learning to seek Him at work. learning to control my tongue at work. above all, part of my decision derives from the fact that i cannot neglect doing God's work anymore. not trying to be noble or what, but my life belongs to Him. if He wants to use my hands and my time to be availed to Him to do His work, i am willing. i was once unwilling, but today, im willing. yep, may seem that i've missed the point, but i still want God to speak to me, and place me in a strategic place at a strategic time, just like how Queen Esther saved her ppl for such a time as this. missing it once doesn't mean the end of the world, it's just the beginning, to set things right again. i dunno what the future entails, really. but all i want is to build His kingdom, for i do not work for my own kingdom. help me to sow into eternity, God. help me to sow my legacy into eternity, today, God. make my life count for You. perhaps these are some of the modules i need to go through. perhaps this is my training ground. and today, i have been trained. Tuesday, September 08, 2009, 12:28 AM u dun get it, do you? i dun need ur approval. i just want to do my work well. but talking to u sometimes is frustrating when u dun get me. crap. hate friday. album checking, credits and lyrics, here i come. hurray.		thedeceptionist Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt. 24.working.talkative.illogical at times.music all her life.sing.dance.act.host. raspberry latte.iced caramel macchiato.krispy kremes loser.pasta.salmon sashimi.kimchi Just want to pursue what I like most while I'm still young. loves & hates LOVES: Jesus. kpop. jpop. kdramas. jdramas. bigbang. dbsk. 2PM. yamashita tomohisa. suju. epik high. namie amuro. WGM. So Ji Sub. music is my life. HATES: charsiew rice desires Nintendo DS Lite RED ~~Agnes B Wallet~~ 3D2N Batam SPA Resort Stay Zumreed Sfit Color Headphones (RED/WHITE)		partnersincrime family ceh kor vips xing vanvan bitchy ex-colleague sherlyno friends for life conneo peijun jiez eileen gai takeabow An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D		theventingmachine <a href="http://www2.shoutmix.com/?chaesorim">View shoutbox</a> ShoutMix chat widget