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Sunday, January 14, 2007, 10:38 PM
surprises!
there are some things we think that we have expected, and we think that we wouldn't be caught by surprise if it ever happens. but when it really happens, you can't say that you'd be 100% ready for the news, isn't it? am i speaking in 'parables'? o_o i like pleasant surprises. they give me a nice shock, and sometimes leave a warm and sweet lingering in my heart. *^^* pleasant surprises include receiving a dream birthday gift, a sudden birthday celebration out of nowhere, being selected for a performance, knowing that someone whom you like likes you back at the same time (that has yet to happen in these 21 years...), receiving a card from your dear ones, etc. but unpleasant surprises can make me feel sad, disappointed, helpless and behave like a fluttering klutz. it's worse, when you cannot tell anyone about how you feel, but just stand there and let nature takes its course. i don't like that feeling at all. i'm the type of person who would rather let it all out and tell someone about how i feel. but if i do tell anyone about it, i wouldn't know how that person will react. it may upset that person immediately, and many implications will follow. and things can take a worse turn, all because i can't keep matters to myself. one significant unpleasant surprise i had that plagued me for months was when someone that i liked a lot in church got attached after sec 4 'O'-Levels. i dun normally like guys in church, cos i had a lot of opinions about them and i deemed every church guy immature and desperate. but that guy was a 'different breed', or so i tot. i knew that he had liked a girl for a year already, but since we were in the same cell, we grew closer and closer for a period of time. i knew that he would get attached with the girl after 'O's and if the pastor approves of it, but i secretly wished that it wouldn't happen. he also mentioned once to his friends that i'm quite an important person to him (i have no idea in what way). so you can imagine my heartbreak when we were MSN-ing one day, and he mentioned that since i'm important to him, i should be the first to know that he just got attached with the girl. oh, how i cried so hard for the whole day, cos that was the first time someone that i liked so badly really got attached. it was too real and too painful. it took me a few months to let go and get over it totally. haha. i just realised that i'm kinda blabbering. see, tat's what happens when you cannot tell people what really happened and you are just running around in circles and beating around the bush. anyway i thank God for that lesson, as i learnt to grapple with my emotions. i thank God too, that He protected me. that guy had a side of him that i never knew, and soon he backslided as a leader because he was having major family problems. wells, i dunno what's happening, but i hope that this little unpleasant surprise i just had would not snowball into a bigger one. i also came to realise that i need to let go and release some things that's on my mind for some time, but din really think through it and prepare myself for it. haha, actually things are not as complicated as i think it is. it's a big deal to me, but it's definitely not a big deal to everyone else. haha! i think i think too much le lar! @_@ moving on to happier things! IGNYTE service was very fun!!! i got to know a newcomer who just came to church. i invited her to come back for service next week! everything's like really exciting! i've got friends bringing friends to church for the first time, and i see one or two individuals learning to handle transitions postiively! i'm glad that i prayed for someone, as i know that God wants that individual to arise in his faith and move out of his comfort zone. and i'm glad that he appreciates the buzz group too! *^^* sugoii ne! i managed to meet up with er jie over the week and we ate MOS burger!! i know that's going to make our ah boi cringe, but we really really love MOS burger!!!!! hahahhaa!! so glad to see her enjoying her new section and it was enjoyable to catch up with her about her plans after resigning from work and waiting to enter poly. we went to borders and talked more abt what kinds of books we like and stuff. hehe! i found a fellow book-lover!! keke!! oh ya. before i forget to mention, i hope that xiao wang zi won't be too obsessed with erika toda. hehe! .:contentedrei |
thedeceptionist
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.24.working.talkative.illogical at times.music all her life.sing.dance.act.host. raspberry latte.iced caramel macchiato.krispy kremes loser.pasta.salmon sashimi.kimchi loves & hates
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